[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate-A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate-B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate-C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice? Obviously Candidate-C, right?
Think again!
Candidate-A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate-B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate-C is Adolph Hitler.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
"But I do that already!" Exposing the materialistic fallacy.
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
An American consultant was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied only a little while.
The consultant then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The fisherman said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The American consultant scoffed, “I am business consultant and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.
“You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American consultant replied, “15-20 years.”
“But what then, senor?” asked the fisherman.
The consultant laughed, and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You’ll become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions, senor?” replied the Mexican. “Then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
The Mexican replied, a little puzzled: "But I do that already!"
An American consultant was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied only a little while.
The consultant then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The fisherman said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The American consultant scoffed, “I am business consultant and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.
“You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American consultant replied, “15-20 years.”
“But what then, senor?” asked the fisherman.
The consultant laughed, and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You’ll become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions, senor?” replied the Mexican. “Then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
The Mexican replied, a little puzzled: "But I do that already!"
Can you be your own Grandfather and your own Grandson? The answer is YES. (Read on)
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.
The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and my own grandson !!!!
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.
The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and my own grandson !!!!
Would you teach a young boy to shoot?
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
(The NRA will LOVE this one. - Probal)
It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to address a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base ?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be taught to children ?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you ?
Hmmmm!!!!
(The NRA will LOVE this one. - Probal)
It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to address a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base ?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be taught to children ?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you ?
Hmmmm!!!!
Don't drink cold fluids during or after a meal [Medical advice]
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water. May be it is time we adopt their drinking habits while eating.
For those who like to drink cold water (or anything cold) during or after a meal, this article is applicable to you.
The cold drink will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.
So it is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water. May be it is time we adopt their drinking habits while eating.
For those who like to drink cold water (or anything cold) during or after a meal, this article is applicable to you.
The cold drink will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.
So it is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
Lessons in logic! (What's a "Workstation"?)
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate.
But if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
.........................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
.........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
.........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.........................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
.........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.........................................................................
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
.........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
.........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams" .
So go to sleep.
.........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day .
Than waking up every morning.
.........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody".
But why take the risk?
.........................................................................
"Work fascinates me".
I can look at it for hours.
.........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So.. why learn.
.........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
Need I say more?
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate.
But if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
.........................................................................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
.........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
.........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
.........................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
.........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
.........................................................................
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
.........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
.........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams" .
So go to sleep.
.........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day .
Than waking up every morning.
.........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody".
But why take the risk?
.........................................................................
"Work fascinates me".
I can look at it for hours.
.........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget.
The more you forget, the less you know.
So.. why learn.
.........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
Need I say more?
40 things you would love to say at work!
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh. . .1 see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career - turns out I just wanted paychecks.
39. Sure, you came up with that idea.
40. I'd love to help you, but it's 5:00 PM
Most complex problems do have a solution. It's only that we don't attempt to think!
[Note: All posts in this blog are emails received by me from correspondents around the world. The privacy of the source is protected. So feel free to send me whatever you think is worth sharing.]
Many years ago, in a small Israeli village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag . Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ....
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Many years ago, in a small Israeli village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag . Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ....
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
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